I travel the world, I’m a strong independent woman and I suffer with crippling anxiety. Quite the statement I know. This site and all the words in it are here for me to tell the truth, the brutal honest truth about what it is like as a long suffering anxiety queen. I am here with my upfront and sometimes rather amusing tales of what it is to live, travel and be successful all whilst carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Slightly dramatic? Yes yes, I know.
Except it isn’t it it? Because if you are like me then you will know exactly what I mean by that. How every footstep is possible egg shell, every word is a potential blunder.
So yes, I travel the world wearing a blue pinstripe sky suit, helping the world get from A to B and enjoying the sites to see along the way. Thats right, I am cabin crew. From the Great Wall of China to Safari in the South African bush my adventures far and wide come with many ridiculous anecdotes of how my anxiety drives me wild. But also some deep moments of clarity, those moments where the clouds part and the sun shines so brightly you feel invincible.
What you will find here is the real honest truth. About what its like to live with mental health, travel, self love, self hate and most importantly you will find sarcasm. Because humour, although most will say sarcasm it is the lowest form of whit, is how I deal with most things in life. I hope my story will help you open up about yours, to get the conversation out there. We have all seen the movement ‘its ok to not be ok’ right? Well its true and actually by talking about we are helping so many people realise that they are not ‘weird’ or ‘a freak’ and that it really is just a part of life for some. Just like having asthma or diabetes we have to take control and manage it.
I have been suffering with anxiety since I was 11 years old (see my blog #bereal for more background on that) but it wasn’t until I was 24 I actually admitted to myself I had a problem and not until I was 28 when I realised I had to take control of it. Thats right, 17 years of un diagnosed agitation and worry. Fun! A year into my medication and although I absolutely still have bad days, I have mostly levelled out. This is why now, I am taking the chance to get this out there. To try to help others. 17 years was too long to hide.
Of course, it wasn’t 17 years of complete hiding. I am so very lucky that I have a fantastic family, husband and friends that helped to keep me going when I was at my worst. Which wasn’t every second of every day. Please don’t fall for the misconception that if you suffer from mental health you are miserable all the time. Because, well, I am not anyway. Its a 40% portion of day to day. And believe me 40% is more than enough for me to deal with. I will help you to understand that there is still so much greatness and positivity in the world, and the world can still be your oyster.
Travelling is my main hobby, I will share my many adventures with you and hints and tips for all the beautiful cities I visit. I will pour my heart out over TV shows, anyone who watches any Shonda Rymes shows will know this. And I will bore you with Liverpool Football club, because what’s life without sport? YNWA.
For day to day interactivity and fabulous photos of my beautiful doggy Archie, pop over to Instagram and follow me @mindoverspill and say hi on twitter too (TBC)!