Dreaming of another world.

Only I could start writing a blog and then get so wound up about the next insert that I ended up stressing myself out about it, then putting it off. Honestly I make myself angry about my ridiculousness. I started this blog to help get it out there, my experiences and feelings, hoping it could help me to understand more about myself. In fact all it did was make me more aware of how ridiculous I can be which it turn wound me up even further.

Or is that just part of the healing? Is becoming aware of my traits helping me understand them? So I’ve been told anyway, the first step to solving the mystery, is to work out that that there is a mystery in the first place.

So here I am, back at it. Going to try and make it a more regular occurrence. I suppose like a weekly online diary and if anyone is interested they can join in the the weird and wonderful travelling lifestyle of me.

I am just back from holiday (vacation for those to the west), we went to Vancouver in British Colombia, Canada. I have wanted to bring Zack here since the day I set eyes on the place. British Columbia is the definition of beauty and Vancouver is a great city, albeit extremely expensive, but absolutely worth it.

We spent a week in an Air B&B in North Vancouver. In a beautiful street near a village called Edgemont. When we go away now, we find we much prefer to go with the Air B&B route because not only is it cheaper but you feel less like a tourist and much more like a local. You tend to experience more local activities and if you have a great host like we so often do you also get to find out about the surroundings in a much deeper and more detailed way. It is also a great change for me, as I spend most of my professional life in the four walls of a hotel room.

We set about the week with a rough agenda. Visiting with work I don’t often get to see much outside of the city. Its a long way to go just for 24 hours that’s for sure and normally jet lag has us wiped out so much that its breakfast then a bike ride around Stanley Park, Shopping or a trip to Granville Island and that is as far as our foggy tired brains can manage.

The idea was to pick a point and just adventure. And wow, what we found and what we saw completely changed us.

You see in the UK, life is busy. Everywhere is busy. Sometimes it feels like there is no escape. The shops are busy, the motorways are insane, even places that should be serene and peaceful like the Lake District are brimming with bus loads of tourists. Sometimes I feel that unless you lock yourself in your house, there is simply no escape.

Not only is it busy, but I find the majority of people, including myself at times are so self entitled. Everyone believes it is their right to be first, their right to win, their right to well, everything. It’s hard to explain other than subconscious arrogance. The right to have the best of everything, better than your neighbour. Even I spent my late teens competing to be best, to be popular, to have the best car and the best holidays. And that was before the likes of instagram. Most of us live outside of our means, cars on finance (we have two for heck sake), credit cards with 0%, holidays on payment plans. Its all outside our means! And it is all because we ‘need it’. Yes maybe you did, but does the undue pressure of the debt it ensues really worth it. I can tell you, its definitely not.

It is all just too much for me to take now. Travelling for a living has given me the opportunity to experience difference cultures and places where life is just seems so different.

British Columbia is one of these places. Within two days of being there we knew, we said it to each other, this is what we need. The people, the outdoors, the fresh air and space was everything we didn’t even know we needed! It was like a massive penny not just dropping, but smashing through the floor beneath us.

The feeling of freedom whilst hiking and exploring. It stops everything, all the demons are banished. When you’re hiking you have to concentrate putting one foot in front of the other, not worrying about ridiculous things and pressures we have at home or at work.

Now I’m not stupid, I realise if we lived here we would still have work in Canada. I will still have a routine and some things I don’t like. But what we won’t have is the pressure of living to work. With a smaller space, less belongings, less time spent washing and cleaning will ultimately leave more time for hiking and picnics in the summer. Skiing in the winter. Maybe, just maybe, it’s the answer we’ve been looking for.

One evening, after exploring Whistler Village and the two mountains. We sat with a picnic on the banks of Alta Lake and watched the sunset. The only thing that was missing from this perfection was the dog that wasn’t with us. It was at that point we decided to make a plan. A 5 year plan, with emigrating to Canada as the goal.

FIVE YEARS. Yes I know, it seems like forever. And although we have realised our dream we are also realists. We have cars on lease, credit cards to pay and other commitments that we need to see through before to can take our next step. But we have made a promise to ourselves and to each other that we will do it and we will obviously take the dog! Could not leave our child behind!

Changes will have to be made. Right now we have a three bed semi. A three bed semi with two people and a dog with absolutely no intention what so ever of having any children. Seems ridiculous now, but when we bought it we were worried that there wasn’t enough space. Enough space for what you tools!? Well for clutter obviously, for pointless things that we absolutely do now need to waste our money on. But we have done, and we’ve lived outside our means for too long.

What our experience in Canada made us aware of, is that we don’t need all of these materialistic things. We so enjoyed each others company outside of the house. My husband tried new things, like cycling and rowing and loved them. New experiences taught us that we could live simply and enjoy the free things in life; the outdoors and all it has to offer. So we are making changes now. Changes our way of thinking. Rewiring our brains to move away from consumerist decisions and learning new ways to experience our time together. More hikes, walks and less spending. Living back within our means and saying ‘so-long’ to the overspends we have racked up through living wildly outside of our pay checks through laziness and desired wants.

I am so excited and motivated to embark upon this new chapter of our life. I am looking forward to seeing if it makes a difference with regards to our mental health.


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